College At My Doorsteps...

Right now I'm going through the process of accepting a college and I'm leaning mostly toward going to Chico State mostly because it's pretty far away and I want to be able to experience a new place with new faces. I feel that if I stayed within the same community I won't be able to try new things or develop the skills to be on my own. I'm also trying to figure out my financial status with FAFSA, Cal Grant and Scholarships.

I'm feeling excited and can't wait to get out of high school and move on from this place, the moment in time where adults expect you to make decisions but believe we can't make them because we aren't mature enough to, a dilemma that never gets solved. I know by going away in college it'll make me become a more mature person. Though even if I wanted to go far away, they think that the stigma of "partying" is the only thing the school does, and since it hasn't been "well-known" they assume that it's not a good school. They make it seem like certain colleges are so bad because people don't talk about it as much as other, not like they experienced the horrifying accusations they've placed on the school. I've even looked into it, yes drinking/partying will be around but that is at ALL colleges not just specifically Chico. Chico is still being haunted by the recent death a student for over alcohol consumption, it's just the student decision to drink or not. Family just becomes very biased and decision becomes more stressful.

I'm determined to go to Chico because I want to be able to move on and experience a completely new and different place. It's just like someone needing to go on vacation to get away for a moment and rethink things and come back as soon as it is over.

Thinking about how to pay for school, path I can take for classes for my major and a minor as that will be helpful, Constructing a College Binder about my school and get officially planned out for college so I won't be stuck in the momentary decision as this will be the time to make decisions for the future.

Family/Finances

I think my family is fine with me going to college, they haven't expressed anything about me leaving other than going away on my own and doing well in school. They're busy with their own issues that may be going on as well so I guess I expected for them not to respond dramatically. Maybe by the end when I approach the deadline to actually leaving for college they show how much they will miss me.
Financially, We have not completed FAFSA, but plan on finishing it today since they have time to work on it with me. I started to research all the schools and get a general idea of how they look, surroundings, finances, and it kinda worries me about being some place new and what to expect.
There's just alot of thought I am putting into if i still am able to go to college, having a large amount of money to pay for it, not sure if we can afford to as they never tell me about it other than don't worry. I would like to be able to know so i can understand and get the jist of what is going on because i know one day I'm going to have to do it all on my own, if i don't learn now i might make mistakes that will affect me greatly in the future.

Stress

What I'm stressed out about is  family, school, and myself. My family and I don't communicate so well as if you imagine another family household. There's a language barrier between me and them, things wouldn't be clearly told or expressed and would lead to unhappy events. With this barrier it feels as If i can't know what they would expect out of me, it seems I can never really satisfy them which stresses me out.
School is complimentary to my family view upon me, "you have to do well to be successful", If i'm not performing good enough there isn't much of support, but more of criticism of not doing as well as other children. School is the education that can make you become better and successful in life, but it seems more like it ruins me to be part of a family.
I feel like I can do better but it seems like even if i decided to do better and work hard for it there's nothing to really show for it.

I haven't really done anything to try and alleviate stress, it just seems to be there and I have managed to keep it at a common thing I feel everyday. Taking it day by day is all I feel like i can do, but i also decided to use volunteering as a stress reliever .


I'm looking forward to being able to volunteer since this is something i found can be a stress relieve for me. Working with children and seeing how happy they can be makes me think that I can be as happy as they are in about anything they do.